Radical feminists often get castigated for using ‘incorrect’ pronouns when referring to men who have decided they are women. The argument usually goes along the lines of: ‘If a man thinks he is a woman and wants to be known as ‘she’, where is the harm in that?’
Thus we have now reached a situation whereby we have some feminists who, not wishing to appear rude, will accede to the man’s demands to be called ‘she’ or ‘her’. We are told it is impolite to do otherwise – and women are socialised to be polite, and nice, and as inoffensive as possible. If a man ‘feels’ like a woman, it is polite to treat him as such, so the argument goes. ‘Misgendering’ a man hurts his feelings, and all humans wish to avoid hurt feelings don’t we?
The problem is that using incorrect pronouns – calling a he a she – contributes to the erasure of women and girls. It puts us on an equal footing with our oppressors. Why should women feel obliged to accommodate men’s fantasies? Why do we have to be ‘nice’ about these men who are appropriating us and our struggles? Why should the oppressed feel compelled to ally themselves with their oppressors?
He takes. She gives. He vampirizes. She bleeds. He rapes, murders, batters, beats, pummels, pounds, demolishes, destroys. He gaslights, talks over, talks down to, takes precedence over, manipulates, invades, attacks, exploits, controls, dominates. She survives against all odds. He is the abuser. She is the abused. She gives life. He takes it away.
She is aborted for being female. He is not aborted for being male. She is unwanted. He is valued from the minute he is born. As a child she is trafficked, sexually abused, forced into marriage, has her genitals mutilated. He buys and sells her, rapes and sexually abuses her, permits other men to rape her, tortures her for his sexual gratification. He rapes his own children, or abducts children from outside their schools. He is the reason children cannot walk the streets safely. She is busy trying to keep children safe from his aggression, his violence and his abuse.
He sticks his penis in her and impregnates her. She conceives, carries, births, feeds, clothes, cares, nurtures, loves unconditionally. He has an orgasm. She has nausea, sore breasts, vomiting, low blood pressure, swollen ankles, pre-eclampsia. Her internal organs are crushed by the growing foetus. Her belly is stretched, her back and breasts ache. She labours for hours or days on end. His scalpel cuts her from vagina to anus, or right through her stomach wall in the case of a c-section. She cares for her newborn, despite her personal discomfort.
She cooks, cleans, shops, launders, irons. She plans meals, fetches, carries, prepares. She looks after elderly relatives, even if they are his blood relations and not hers. If she is ill she battles on regardless. He takes to his bed and she takes care of him. If he reciprocates, he expects gratitude.
He makes, views and distributes pornography. She is dehumanized, reduced to three holes. He pays for sex. She endures him. He fucks, beats, slaps, bites, chokes. He forces her head down onto his penis. He will ejaculate into her vagina, anus, mouth, on her breasts, all over her face, into her eyes and nostrils or wherever else takes his fancy. She puts up with it it because she is financially dependent upon him, or because she is trying to appease him, or because he is the father of her children, or because her life depends on it.
He starts wars. She picks up the pieces. She does the vast majority of the world’s work. He owns the vast majority of the world’s resources. She gives with very little return. He steals female energy for his own gain. She is valued only for her looks. If she fails to reach the standards created by him, she will be dismissed, mocked, ridiculed, derided. He is valued because he is male. He is the default. She is the defect.
Women, don’t let him tell you that he is a she. Don’t fall for his gaslighting. Don’t be afraid to call him he. Don’t feel obliged to be nice. Be impolite. Name your oppressor. Never forget that he oppresses she the world over, and if you are a she then I am afraid you are no exception.